Wednesday, January 2, 2013


When we were doing the dreaded adoption wait, I read a TON of adoption blogs.

Especially blogs about transratial adoptions.

And it's fairly common on these blogs for people to tell the odd and discourteous questions they've been asked.

Really awful questions like:

"How much did he cost?"
"Was she cheaper because she's black?"

We've been pretty luck as far as questions go,

though one of Hub's employees did say

"When did you have him?  I didn't even know you were pregnant!"  when she saw me in the store with Babycakes.

That one left me sputtering.

But now that the word is out about baby brother, the questions have begun

and I know they'll get worse when he's actually here.

But my least favorite is this:

"Have you told her about birth control?" meaning Mama E.

Can I list the ways this is rude?
Her choice to have another baby does not involve me.
Her choice of birth control, or choice not to use it, does not involve me.
It's not my job to talk to her about this.

I think I've been asked about this about a thousand times, and I have yet to come up with a quick and POLITE answer.

1 comment:

Ami said...

I'm going to need so much grace in this department because my first, gut, raw response would be, "Has someone told you about keeping your rude mouth shut?"

I am so nervous about being gracious to people with the adoption questions. I will NOT tolerate racism in any shape or form, but as for the ignorant questions . . . God give me GRACE!